24 things estate agents say – and what they really mean

24 things estate agents say – and what they really mean

Just for a bit of fun, here are 24 things estate agents say – and what they really mean:

  1. Bijou – A tiny boxroom
  2. Cash buyers only – No bank in its right mind would lend on this
  3. Compact – Glorified cupboard
  4. Convenient for transport links – Feel the walls shake as a train passes
  5. Cosy – No more than one person per room at a time
  6. Close to good schools – Can get there in 10 minutes, if you drive like Lewis Hamilton
  7. Easily-maintained garden – Concrete as far as the eye can see
  8. Full of history – Doesn’t have electricity or running water
  9. No onward chain – Somebody died in there
  10. No photo available – The stuff of nightmares
  11. Peaceful location – God’s waiting room
  12. Perfect for a first time buyer – We know you can’t afford to be choosy
  13. Period property – Derelict and possibly haunted
  14. Popular area – You’ll be squashed in like sardines
  15. Put your own stamp on it – Half-built
  16. Renovation required – Watch your money magically disappear
  17. Rural – There is nothing there, except maybe some sheep
  18. Viewing recommended – The outside looks like something Stig of the Dump would reject
  19. Pied-à-terre – Fancy French phrase for cosy. See 5.
  20. Quirky – Nothing matches and the doors are four-foot high
  21. Three-bedroomed property – Two bedrooms and a cupboard where you could fit a sleeping bag… just
  22. Reduced for a quick sale – There has been no interest at all
  23. Within walking distance – If you have a spare five hours
  24. Sought-after area – Ridiculous price

 

Affiliate Links:
Some of the links on this website are affiliate links, which means that I may earn a commission if you click on the link or make a purchase using the link. When you make a purchase, the price you pay will be the same whether you use the affiliate link or go directly to the vendor’s website using a non-affiliate link. By using the affiliate links, you are helping support the dkohara.com website, and I genuinely appreciate your support.

Amazon Affiliate Links:
dkohara.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.co.uk plus other affiliate programs that may be affiliated with Amazon Service LLC Associates Program.

Copyright DK O'Hara and dkohara.com 2017-2019. All rights reserved.

Leave a comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.